How sorrowful it is to lose the ones we love, but it is so crazy to act on losing them because we love them, we love them and we fear for them. It is extra eccentric to save them by ending their lives with our own hands. How can we do it?? What a strong heart we got, but yes it is true what they say, fear fills us with power we never knew it was already exist in our body, with illusions and nightmares…it frees us from all boundaries and give us the energy to act the unforgivable act.
In 2001, my story starts.
After giving birth to Marie, her fifth child, Adriana Yeats suffered from giving birth depression which had fully controlled her and ended her up in a sanatorium. After six months doctors said that she was recovering and that she showed some positive comportment and she is allowed now to go home, after all, she missed her family a lot, missed her kids which her mother in law took good care of them while Adriana was there.
Adriana was a thirty years old women who was very successful in her life. She went to a medical school and studied nursing and was married for a man whom she was in love with and had such a wonderful children, in fact, she lacked nothing in her life the thing that droved everyone close to her to ask why she had reached to the brink of despair!.
June the 3rd, 2001...The unbelievable happens.
It was really a sunny day. Adriana wakes up to see that her loving husband had set breakfast for the kids was dressed and ready to leave for his job. Before he leave, he told her that today they called him and asked him to come earlier so he had to leave before his mother came, and that she will be alone only for one hour before she comes. He asked her to call him if something happened, and she assured him that she will be okay. He left and Adriana’s visions started to come. Since she was in depression she had black visions about her kids concerning their lives. She had seen her older 7 years son killing people just for the sake of killing, she even saw Marie the youngest dancing blatantly in a night clap. These visions were weak before , they didn’t last for more than 10 minutes, but this time they controlled her, in fact it wasn’t her visions, she was controlled by her fear, till she gave up totally and decided to take an action.
She went the bathroom, opened the water to fill the bathtub, while water was filling it, the black visions has been more real than before that she even screamed but none of the kids heard her because they were playing in the house yard. It took her 8 to 10 minutes to fill that bathtub, she ran and called on her older son to come, she told him that she was going to bathe him, and it was the final bath.
She grasp him so tightly, waited for 3 minutes and it was over. It was cold and wet moments. One by one, she brought them and bathed them, then she went to her room and took Marie, the youngest. Marie so easily was drowned with water, no screaming was heard in the neighbor, after that she put her in the arms of her older brother, Tom, as if she was telling him to take care of her up there in the heaven, and to always keep an eye on her.
The whole scene was cold and lifeless. She was breathless when she looked at her kids for the last time and saw them all pale and motionless, it was when she got back to her conscious, she saw them all dead and wet right in front of her eyes, and who did it?? It was her. She picked up the telephone, dialed 911 and asked the police to come and arrest her.
When the lawyer, who was experienced with psychos and mentally ill people, asked her why she did that she said: ‘I was AFRAID. I saw Tom killing people passionlessly, and Noah, he was inhaling drugs, I saw him passed out, how could I let this happen? I asked myself, do I want to see them burning in hill and do nothing?? I love them, I want them to live in paradise. I always imagined hill’s flames burning everything, I didn’t Want them to be there.. I wanted to redeem them from it, and that’s why I did it…’ cried Adriana.
The lawyer wasn’t convinced, ‘but didn’t you know that by doing this, you yourself will go to hill??’ he asked her.
Adriana went on crying, ‘I know, yes I know’ she said, ‘but I’d rather burn than seeing them burning and torturing.’
‘Didn’t you pass through moments while drowning your own kids that pulled you back?? Didn’t you wake up during that??’ the lawyer insisted to know.
‘When I was drowning Noah, he clutched my arm as if he sensed that this was not a normal bath and was really afraid.. But his eyes were like, “I trust you mom” .’ and those were her last words before she was taken to the state jail.
January 2006, the jury decides.
The court declared that Adriana was free, and that she committed her crime under an illness.
Adriana went to a sanatorium after she got out of jail, and totally recovered. She decided to complete her life and forget about the past which caused her so much pain. She still blames herself for doing it, but she knows that past is past and there is no way to change it.
The End.
_________________
Fill my fond heart with God alone, for he
Alone can rival, can succeed to thee.
How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;
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