waiting for the approval of my sister's visa. Hope it will be here sooooooon

Oh, how old. The visa was denied, also my mom's visa. I am all alone, with no body near to talk to. I feel this way even if I was in a crowd of people, I am alone, was born alone and will die alone.
Why do I fear it? Do I fear it?? can someone tell me what's wrong wih me?
All the optimism that I used to have is now gone, to you maybe, you seem to have achieved what you were thinking about; to travel, get a well paid job, earn lots of money in a very short time and finally get wed to some one I HATE -was that part of your dream??-

I'm now thinking of all the times that you said to me "this life will work on making you less optimistic, less open to new chances and less motive to do anything", I didn't believe you at that time.

I'm now in despaaaaaaaaaaair, I believed in every word you used to say, but I can't keep on doing so, I need to live, to breath, to continue the dream I had in mind. I force myself to disbelieve, it's all because "it's written in the language of dreams"

This is a good question..
I think I am waiting for a good job offer

How was I to know she was with you all the time??
I still remember that day, and the clumsy thing about it is that she knew we were together. I didn't ask who was calling, didn't ask "for whom is the book?".
We should have met 1/1/2008 but we didn't, so I'm waiting for ../../..

waiting is the ugliest feeling in the world espesially when u r waiting for something crucial to u...im waitng to be accepted (hopefully not rejected) in the master degree for 2011-2012....and waiting is killing me inside