[english][align=center]The Fire Of the First Love and Illusion
Safwat Safwan Hannouf
It is the first day of the new special course in the middle of June. The new students were choosing their places in this class room. This class becomes old, but it is a fact that it was a cradle for too many generations of some good students. The distinguished thing you can notice there that it is opened for both guys and girls, the thing that you cannot find in the governmental schools where there are special secondary schools for only guys and ones for only girls.
The new group of the students is ready to take the first lecture of Mr. Walid, who is a well-known tutor in many special schools. The lecture is going to start in ten minutes. Everybody is staring secretly at each other, especially, the girls who are prating and laughing in a very attractive way.
Mazen sat in the third desk; there was one empty sitting beside him .This thing pushes Zena to sit beside him .However, Mrs. Walid entered the class room to welcome the new group hoping that they will have the benefit from him, and they will be ready before the baccalaureate exam. The first thing he did was that he asks either Mazen or Zena to change their place because it is not allowed for guys and girls to stay together in the same desk.
Because Mazen was a gentleman, he departed his place to stay in the last desk. Mazen registered his name in this course because of the advice of his mother who wants him to succeed and to be an academic student.
Two weeks later, the persons become known to each other by shapes and names. Some girls were interested in talking about some guys, and also some guys had the desire to mix with girls. Mazen once was staring at Zena who was staring strangely and secretly at him, but she was as an arrogant one .The number of the glances has increased and developed between them both. Mazen, before sleeping, was thinking of her because it is something unknown to him.
Time went by and Mazen had a strong desire to speak with her, he failed and decided to stop his glances to her .Zena got confused and asked herself: "why does he stop looking at me?" Once, Zena stopped Mazen suddenly and said: "Good morning Mazen, can I borrow your notebook?"
- "Of course you can, but I have a very bad handwriting." Mazen replied.
- "I think it is not as worse as me." Zena resumed.
- "Ok, you can return it tomorrow because I do not read at home in summer."
- "Oh, really, but it seems that you are a smart guy." Zena said encouragingly.
- "I hope so." Mazen said.
- "Thank you Mazen and see you tomorrow God Willing." Zena said.
- "Ok, God Willing." said Mazen stressing this phrase.
Mazen felt something strange attracts him to Zena because he never talked to any girl since he was in the elementary school. In that night, he remembered her tone, smile, dress, and even the dimple Zena has in her left cheek.
Next day , they spoke with each other about the ordinary life they live , and Zena told him that she stays at night till the Dawn Azan because she sticks to pray the five times . Mazen admired her so much because it seems to him as an innocent girl who respects him so much.
The course will end soon, and Mazen tells Zena that he sees her waiting for the bus service. Zena told him that she lives in a far home.
-" I have a friend their, and I want to visit him today." Mazen said.
- "Oh, you are welcome in the whole lane and even the whole country." Zena replied.
Mazen went for the first time to this bus- stop. The service bus comes, and although it was so crowded to get it, there were two vacant sitting for Zena and Mazen. Nearly, half an hour to reach Zena's house, and she lives in a new building region. Mazen was feeling that he has to say something to Zena.
- "Zena, forgive me, I do not have a friend at your lane, but I want to be close to you till the last moment." Mazen said.
- "I know that, Mazen, I need you to be always with me. I do not like to continue these days without you .Let us get out before my home, there is an isolated street and I want you to walk with me there." Zena said.
- "I am ready to walk with you anywhere." Mazen said with a smile.
They walked and talked. It was an uneven street which was full of rocks and thorny plants. Zena was about to stumble and fall, but Mazen caught her by his hand saying:
- "My love, have you hurt yourself?"
- "No, my heart, I am ok."
Zena gave Mazen her hand, and Mazen caught it. Then Zena spoke naturally about many things, and Mazen spoke whatever cames to his mind to respond.
"Mazen, I am a daughter of divorced parents." Zena said sadly.
"Oh, mmm, when?" Mazen asked.
"Eight years ago, but my mother is married now, and my father lives abroad." Zena said it with a tone seems to be habitual and factual.
"Where does you father live now?" Mazen asked?
"In Algeria." Zena said.
"I hope you to trust me Zena, I love you heartily." Mazen said.
"Of course I do my love, please do not leave me alone." Zena said tearfully.
"Oh please stop crying. I will be with you."
"I will never leave you alone." Mazen said as man responsible for leading an army.
"Mazen, I will leave you now because I do not want anybody to see me with you. Mazen , please, follow me to see the door of my department and wait for me ten minutes because I will be in the balcony if my mother is not at home." Zena said.
"Ok." Mazen replied.
Mazen was behind her in a distance of fifteen meter , and he was pretending that he does not know anybody .Zena entered the department and Mazen chose a suitable place to stand there to see Zena from her balcony . Five minutes passed and Zena appeared at the balcony, but she took off her head scarf. Mazen stared at her and her hair especially, he smiled and then he was talking to her by gestures and motions. Zena made a sign to Mazen to go. He went and wished to her a nice night .They met each other in the next day, and Mazen asked for her phone number and Zena gave it to him after a great appealing.
When it was the last day, some students were hoping all the best for one another .Some of them know that Zena and Mazen became a couple of lovers, and Zena was too criticized for this thing. One night Mazen missed Zena too much, so he tried to call her. She replied, but when she heard Mazen's voice, she gets embarrassed, and she suddenly said: "Sorry, you are calling a wrong number." Zena's Mother noticed that Zena is embarrassed, so she asked her: "Who was he; I know that this is another guy with whom you make a new relationship."
- "Yea mama, this is a very kind young man." Zena said.
- "How old is he?" Zena's mother asked.
- "He is eighteen." Zena said.
- "Oh my God, he is but a child." Zena's mother said angrily.
- "No, I love him." Zena said.
- " My daughter , you do not know what love means , we live in an oriental society , we love only our husbands , please leave this child , for the sake of me , Zena , you are in the age of marriage , so , please , think of your reputation." Zena's mother said.
- "Mom, I do not commit a crime, we are innocent, and we love by our hearts." Zena said.
- "Zena, please, you must succeed this year because I want you to be an academic student." Zena's mom said.
Zena called Mazen and told him everything happened to her with her mother, Mazen told her that he is connected to her till the deepest depth of his heart. .Zena told him that they must continue their relation secretly .Once Mazen went to her house to stand under her balcony , although Mazen had to get two bus-services and it needs half an hour to be there , Mazen accepted to do that. He told her to stand on the balcony, but she said that she might not be able to stand there .Mazen waited for her for more than an hour, and then he noticed that her mother had departed the house. Mazen then made a phone to Zena to appeal her , and she accepted to do that .Mazen stood there and Zena asked him to go up to see her , she opened the door and told him that he cannot come in .Mazen told her that he misses her too much .Zena asked him to leave quickly before anybody sees them .She asked him to catch something she will throw from the balcony , and Mazen did .Zena threw her photo and inscribed some words on it .Mazen kissed the photo and flipped it to read but three words, " I love you."
One month later, and the schools were in the very beginning of the attendance .Zena started to neglect Mazen because she has to apply her mother's recommendation. Mazen was eager to speak to her, but when he tries to call her, she refused .Zena's mother asked Zena to introduce Mazen to her to show him that he is but a child who has nothing to do to his future. He was regarded by all those who know Mazen as a "fool" because everybody in his age can have fun with a girl but cannot mention even the case of marriage.
It is January, and it is too cold, but Mazen becomes a crazy lover to Zena. He used to stand under her balcony to see her even by a coincidence .Zena becomes so strange because she sees him, but never give even a glance to Mazen.
Time went by and Mazen became unaware of his baccalaureate and all what he wants is to see Zena .He was always following her sometimes secretly ,and sometimes he was making himself noticeable by her pretending that he does not know that she walks beside him. Once he knows that she is going to register her name in a special course in philosophy and Arabic, so he did so hoping to talk again with her. Mazen did so , but the shock he got was that Zena was sitting beside another young man who was handsome and has an attractive spirit with girls.
Mazen got so jealous, but he started to hate Zena because he did nothing wrong with her to be treated in cruel mood .Mazen greeted her, and she replied formally. Once he followed her because she walks alone .Mazen saw her again with that young man and they were walking together in an inhabited street and then it seemed that they live near each other .Mazen wanted to ask Zena why did she talk to this young man and she said that she will never talk to a young man except the one who has a proposal to marry her. Mazen got the bus-service, but this time he sat next to the handsome young man who sat next to Zena and Zena was the one who asked him to be with her. The young man left Zena , so she became alone with Mazen. Suddenly Zena said : " Is it you? "
-" Are you kidding " Mazen asked.
-" Yea , I am kidding , I want to speak to you Mazen , let us get off now to that street." Zena said.
- " Ok, to the same street when we were lovers." Mazen said.
They got off and Mazen asked her : " Who was he ?"
-"He is the brother of my friend , and my mother knows his mother." Zena said.
-" So , why do you meet him secretly ?" Mazen asked .
-" Ah , because we live in an oriental society." Zena replied .
-" Zena , it seems that you are in love with him , I saw that you gave him your phone number and you say now that your mother knows him and his mother as well." Mazen said.
-" Oh , it is because we changed our phone number." Zena said .
- Do you still pray ? " Mazen asked .
" Actually , I do not nowadays , and I hope that Allah will forgive me." Zena said .
- " And so , you started to lie." Mazen said revengefully .
- "Mazen , be kind as I know you , you start to injure me." Zena said.
-" How am I injuring you and the scraps become so deep in my psyche and heart?" Mazen asked.
-" Mazen , I want you to be more faithful to Allah, let us enter Heaven together." Zena said that trying to calm Mazen who got so nervous." I listen know to the propagandist" Omar Khaled ", and I hope I will do my best to win the consent of Allah." Zena continued.
-" Really , so why are you lying now?" Mazen asked." Zena , I notice that you are in love with that young man." Mazen continued.
-" But he is not , I mean he does not have this feeling towards me." Zena said .
-" Ok, you are doing your best to get him , Zena , I know you very well , you start to love a young man , and when he loves you, you search for another." Mazen said.
- " Mazen , please , forget me , I have made you away from Allah , and I feel remorseful now , so please forget me, and do not ask about me ."Zena said.
-" Ok , Zena, but by the way , the name of the propagandist is " Amr Khaled," so please stop hypocrisy ." Mazen said.
" My mother is worried about me , I have to leave . Mazen , forget me , and I hope you to succeed." Zena said.
Mazen started to forget Zena who left that handsome young man very soon to be introduced to another one out of her private school. It was too late for Mazen to succeed , and Zena succeeded with low marks and became an academic student in the Open Learning Center .Mazen studied hard in the next year , and he succeeded with very high marks and he became an academic student .
Mazen did not forget Zena and the pain she caused to him. He saw her one year later with a new young man , and he knew that they are with each other since more than nine months , there was a rumor that this young man will engage her very soon.
Mazen confronted Zena while she was talking joyfully with her fifth lover and then he noticed that she does not mind to be touched in some parts of her body even if this thing happened spontaneously. Mazen is sure that he has but pity for such a girl like Zena . Zena stared at Mazen as if she had not had known him. Once Mazen was walking in a very hidden place in the university where you can find lovers under trees , construction projects , and too many noticed and unnoticed places .He saw Zena with her lover sitting in an empty lobby behind the college at a late hour in accordance to the attendance of the university. Her lover was shouting at her and saying some bad words , but Zena was calm and relax. Mazen stood in an entrance where he heard every thing . Mazen heard the lover saying to Zena : " You are a cheap girl to a one like me , you are my girlfriend , but I will never think that we will be married." Then her lover left quickly leaving Zena crying alone . Mazen felt that there is something pushes him to speak with Zena after two years of separation.
- " I know that this is not a suitable time to see me." Mazen said that without greeting her and then he took out a performed white tissue and gave it to Zena .
- ' Mazen , he is a villain , he promised that he will engage me , I gave him my dreams , hopes , reputation and time in vain , Mazen , my mother treated him as if he were her son-in-law , but he is a villain and his mother told him that I am a cheap girl who is existed only to be flattered ."
- - " Ok , past is past , and you cannot humiliate yourself to turn back to a villain ." Mazen said.
- " Mazen , I hope to die now , I lost too many things , my father will beat me and then he will sell me to any rich man of his acquaintance , I thought that he loved me honestly ." Zena said crying.
- " Ok , Zena , you can judge yourself later , you are still fresh and energetic but be honest with yourself ." Mazen said that and he whipped Zena's tears because she was as a very astray little girl .
- " Mazen , my brother , please forgive me for every bad thing I caused to you ." Zena said that as a girl who missed a traveler brother."
When Mazen heard that , he was not care about his past love to her because he became aware that he was but a teenager that time .
"let us go Zena , let us go , you have to breath fresh air now because you are going to live a different life from now on." It was not a strange thing that Mazen led Zena to her house because was totally destroyed and broken by that young man .Two months later, Mazen saw Zena talking with a giant young man who seemed to be so kind even with his giant body .However , they broke down quickly and now Mazen saw Zena changing her lovers from time to time during two years .
Mazen became twenty-three and he was changed to be a very distinguished ambitious man to all those who knew him , every day had a lesson to him about this life . He graduated as an engineer and traveled for five years abroad to make a good capital and income . When he turned back to his small city , he got engaged to a girl he admired during the period of studying at his university and he promised himself that he will save her love as long as he lives because she is very good in her qualifications as a Muslim girl. Once he went to the university to know the results of some subjects of his fiancé and noticed that Zena was there because she makes use of the canteen as a place for her dates with the new lovers she got. He noticed that she was talking on the mobile phone and told someone that she is there ; Mazen decided that he will tease her since she teased him when he was unaware of anything of his life. He took out the thing he has since eight years in his wallet and decided that he will turn it back because he is not in need for it now . He was fully self-confident that he will give it to her when she will sit with the new lover .The new lover came , and it seemed that he is uncultured tradesman .While they were talking and having a drinking , Mazen came and greeted Zena but he did not pay any attention to the one who was sitting with .
- " Hello Zena. How are you doing ?" Mazen said .
- " Hello , I am fine ." Zena said and she was very embarrassed .
- " I am very sorry , but I need to give you something you gave me eight years ago when you were at your balcony ." Mazen said .
The new lover whose number for Zena is over ten asked Zena if he would leave her alone , and Zena accepted , but Mazen asked him to be with them for two minutes .The new lover did , and it seemed that he wanted Zena as any girl to spend some time with because it becomes a common phenomenon nowadays .
-" Zena , here is what you deceived many guys with , it is more beautiful than your state now because it seemed that the make up will never help you to be like the girls who are younger than you in four years at least .It is the thing you gave to many guys , and the same words you wrote ." Mazen said .
- " What are you doing here ? you boy ." Zena asked angrily .
-" Zena , it is eight years ." " I know that you know who I am now ." Mazen said.
-" I know , but what do you want now from me ? " Zena asked.
- " I want to give you your photo because I will never save a lie in my wallet from now on ." Mazen said .
The new lover also told Zena that he is making fun with her , and he is not ready for marriage . Zena was nervous and she shouted at Mazen and damned him , but Mazen told her that he also does not forgive her. She departed alone , and the new lover thanked Mazen for revealing her truth .Mazen told the new lover : " She will find another deceived lover soon , but I am sure that she will never come here again , I hope this university will be as a beacon for those who want to learn and not a place allows lovers to meet there . Honest love does not need secret places , honest love needs honesty from a guy and a girl."[/english][/size][/align]