Abo MAnAR,
First of all, I want to welcome you here between us -I may call us "the writers of art-en"--
I was reading for you , and wanted to tell you that never give up and keep trying until you achieve your goals.
Always remember that "practice leads to perfection"
I wanted to say something about your poem,
-The first thing, which is something they always tell me to do but I don't, is when you write something don't write about personal experience in a very CLEAR way, I think you know what I mean.
-The second thing is the line:
اقتباس:
Actually I don't know how to speak to a girl
I feel nervous and forget how words' spell
The meaning of this line is understood for us, but if you give your poem to a native speaker he would say: "Do you have a keyboard in your head that tells you how to spell the words you want to say??" or, "Do you usually speak the words letter by letter??"
And what I mean here is that you don't have to know the spelling of the word before you say it, saying a word is much easier than writing it down.
Try to choose a better word.
Wish you the best, good luck.
Keep up the good work.
_________________
Fill my fond heart with God alone, for he
Alone can rival, can succeed to thee.
How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;
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MOB
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