آرتين لتعليم اللغات :: Forgive me mother( for the competition)

Forgive me Mother

"Come on! Can't you see I am busy?" Marcus yelled at his mother.
"Yes I can. But I can't go to your sister's house alone" said the mother with
tears starting to fill her eyes.
"Tomorrow you will go visiting my sister, but today I am sorry!!" he insisted.
"You are sorry?!" said the mother hurt again.
"Yes I am sorry; I have got an appointment in about two hours and I got to prepare for it. Then I promised Dena I will meet her at her parents'"

At hearing this, the mother kept silenced and murmured in a barely audible
Voice, "Yes, go my dear, truly your fiancé is more important"

After three hours, Marcus went out of The Meetings office extremely happy, for he
was able to achieve a huge success and completed the deal.
while he was in his way to meet Dena, his phone rang.

"Hello, this is Marcus", He answered.
"Sir, I am sorry to inform you that your mother had a heart attack,
and now she is in the hospital", the voice in the phone said.
"What? ..How..? Why..? I'll be right over… But how is she?"
Marcus said without giving the man any chance to respond.
"Sir, I am really sorry!!"
"You are sorry?!" Marcus repeated the man's words unconsciously
while tears ran over his face as fountains…

9-8-2008 01:00 pm

Judy

الكاتب:	Judy [ الخميس سبتمبر 04, 2008 5:35 pm ]
عنوان المشاركة:	Forgive me mother( for the competition)
Forgive me Mother "Come on! Can't you see I am busy?" Marcus yelled at his mother. "Yes I can. But I can't go to your sister's house alone" said the mother with tears starting to fill her eyes. "Tomorrow you will go visiting my sister, but today I am sorry!!" he insisted. "You are sorry?!" said the mother hurt again. "Yes I am sorry; I have got an appointment in about two hours and I got to prepare for it. Then I promised Dena I will meet her at her parents'" At hearing this, the mother kept silenced and murmured in a barely audible Voice, "Yes, go my dear, truly your fiancé is more important" After three hours, Marcus went out of The Meetings office extremely happy, for he was able to achieve a huge success and completed the deal. while he was in his way to meet Dena, his phone rang. "Hello, this is Marcus", He answered. "Sir, I am sorry to inform you that your mother had a heart attack, and now she is in the hospital", the voice in the phone said. "What? ..How..? Why..? I'll be right over… But how is she?" Marcus said without giving the man any chance to respond. "Sir, I am really sorry!!" "You are sorry?!" Marcus repeated the man's words unconsciously while tears ran over his face as fountains… 9-8-2008 01:00 pm Judy

الكاتب:	Yara [ الخميس سبتمبر 04, 2008 11:53 pm ]
عنوان المشاركة:	Forgive me mother( for the competition)
Judy, i'll read it

الكاتب:	Safwat [ الجمعة سبتمبر 05, 2008 2:10 am ]
عنوان المشاركة:	Forgive me mother( for the competition)
[english] Judy, It is very effective I have now a very sad feeling , I want to express but I cannot. Your language is very good .especially , aou are able to mix between the formal and the informal language .............. you are a heroine [/english]

الكاتب:	Judy [ الجمعة سبتمبر 05, 2008 4:28 pm ]
عنوان المشاركة:	Forgive me mother( for the competition)
Yara I'll be waiting Safwat I am glad to read your encouraging comment thanks

الكاتب:	Judy [ الجمعة سبتمبر 05, 2008 4:56 pm ]
عنوان المشاركة:	Forgive me mother( for the competition)
MoondanceR thanks for the corrections you made but honestly I would consider them as a second possibility to the way the story would have been written .. cause the words and the order of the sentences I chose shows my own style ... so by your corrections, the story would have a new style that is far from the way I wanted ... اقتباس: I think you wrote this short story to show us a moral lesson or wise us about something realted to parental willingness but I couldn't see it anywhere through this story.. Actually a writer should not state the moral lesson of his story clearly or that would be considered as understimating the inteligince and the ability of his reader to come out by the moral lesson by his/ her self ... the moral lesson of my sory is implicit but not hard to figure out... I think you stated it your self " Parental willingness" anyway, I truly appreciate everything you have said Regards

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الكاتب:	Judy [ الجمعة سبتمبر 05, 2008 11:26 pm ]
عنوان المشاركة:	Forgive me mother( for the competition)
Moondancer Oh .. I got what you mean and you are right I agree with you Thanks alot ... I appreciate that from you

الكاتب:	سنا [ السبت سبتمبر 06, 2008 11:46 am ]
عنوان المشاركة:	Forgive me mother( for the competition)
[english]Judy.. i read your words, nice try .. plaese go a head and give us more you don't need a copetition to show us your skills dear [/english][/b]

الكاتب:	دلع الورد [ الأحد سبتمبر 07, 2008 2:18 pm ]
عنوان المشاركة:	Forgive me mother( for the competition)
[align=center]hey judy this is a very good story and i'm so touched umm, moondancer is right u got some mistakes but it's ok i wanted to say something .. oh yeah .. that marcus is baaaad boy no one knows the value of this great word (MOTHER) except the one who has lost it judy thank u soo much for this amazing story keep it up and go on u're sooo good with love dalaa3 [/align][/color]

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