Odysseus,
I forgot this poem at all, or shall I call it "song"
اقتباس:
This easiness has a positive effect on the readers. The monosyllabic words make the poem easy to understand.
That's what I really wanted
اقتباس:
Another point, the sense of musicality in the poem. As you know, repetition in any poem can cause either tautology –A Greek word that means repletion of words or ideas unnecessarily- or musicality. If you notice that Nawal repeated the words "can't" three times in the lines 11, 12 and 13. This repletion gives the poem the sense of musicality here, NOT tautology. The use of the figures of speech in the poem also serves the sense of musicality in the poem, especially the alliteration – the repletion of consonant letters in the beginning of words in the same lines- as in the lines 6 (high-heaven), 9 (mercy-my), 13 (my-mind) and finally in the last line ( heaven-hell).
That's why I wanted to call it a song. Thanks for the analyzing
اقتباس:
A third point, the coherence in the poem. This poem is tightly coherent. It seems that Nawal masters all her words and ideas, and knows well what to write
Believe me not always, sometime I struggle to find the word I want, I guess it's because I didn't read much lately, it makes my English poor
, I shall be back to reading shortly inshallah.
اقتباس:
Nawal illustrates this fact through the use of the first line "to the depth" , and the sixth line "high in heaven". These two lines are contrasting in places. The first line refers to the very down of earth; and the sixth line refers to the very high of sky. The two places, the 'down' and the 'high', are unseen to normal people. Here lies the idea of coherence.
All of that wasn't in my mind when I wrote it
اقتباس:
So, the conclusion of this is that the poem is well-written; it is NOT just 'an attempt', it is a real poem in the full sense of the word.
It's because you always comment on my "attempts" and show me my mistakes, thanks a lot
اقتباس:
The speaker is like a diver, the addressee hides himself in the bottom of the ocean; and because the speaker misses the addressee very much she turned into a diver and dove deep in the ocean to meet the addressee. It is a very nice image.
I will write a poem about that idea, I liked it too.
اقتباس:
The second and most beautiful image is in the 14th and 15th lines.
اقتباس:
And underneath the ashes of my love
Still burning coal of thy behalf
But I'm NOT going to discuss this image. I will leave it to the other members in order to let them share us their views of this poem. It would also be nice if Nawal wanted to discuss them by herself, though I think it is improper for the poet to discuss what they write. For when they do so they simply kill the poem.
The poem is full of images but I'm going to stop here.
God Bless you Nawal.
Keep the good work
It's about hope, thou the speaker has reached to the bottom of despair of returning his/her love back, there is still hope. It's derived from one look of the person mentioned, you know that the eyes reveals all the secrets of the mind and heart. The hope I was talking about is not a very relaible one, that's why the speakers counts not on it, it's only a still burning coals.
اقتباس:
Frankly speaking, you spoiled the meaning by the misuse of the pronouns
mmmm,
I see.
اقتباس:
hope that my point was clear. This is all what I wanted to say about the poem. God bless you all.
Many a thank for you, I can't find the words to say, I will still write as long as you are reading and correcting my poems.
Odysseus,
And you do NOT have to post a reply as well, because I just gave an opinion about the poem. Do not worry. 
