To Go Or Not To Go

[Portia]

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

To Go Or Not To Go

I don’t know wether this place is good or no
It means for me charity and beautiful memories
But after I had changed , is it still suitable for me?i
*****

Guys and girls are gathered there
For humanity , of course , are there
But problems chased every place of mixing male & female
So is it still suitable for me ?
*****

Once I considered it as my home , my dear home
The place where I have found people that understand me
They are like me , thinking , feelings ..they are like me
I have found what didn’t find in my real home or
In my social enviorment , I found myself with them
But after I have changed , should I find new (me) among them
******

Questions about that place, where once I wondrered:
“What kind of suffering should we go through to get the Paradise
Oh I feel life here is close to Paradise “
Is this place still like the moment I left it
Are people and relationships are like that in the past
If this place is good and right, why I am hesitated to return back
******
My Allah
You know that I have prayed and prayed for you
To show me the truth
I have asked You about this place
Wether if it is bad , so let me be far from it
If it is good , let me come back to it
And messages I received from that place , after my prayers
That invited me to go back
And when I am indeed
Preparing myself for this return, for this Eid
Thoughts and thoughts struck to that mind to, to that weak
Are you serious ? or stupid you are ! oh that is ‘Akeed’
******

Hesitation has squeezed me , killed me….
What should I write about it , the devil itself I see challenging me in it
A bottle , I feel , in it , I live

Please, my Art-En Friends
Tell me : should I stay or should I leave

*****

آخر تعديل بواسطة Portia في السبت شباط 20, 2010 11:02 ص، عدل 1 مرة

[Wissam]

 
First of all, I would like to congratulate you for your style of writing, asa well as for the topic you wrote about. I really had very much pleasure reading It.
However, I have a few notes about some sentences:

I don’t know wether this place is good or no

Not

But after I had changed , is it still suitable for me

misses a "?"

For humanity , ofcoure , are there

Of Course

They are like me , thinking , feelings ..they are like me

Feeling

I have found what didn’t found in my real home or

Wasn't there

If this place is good and right, why I am hesitated to return back

Why am I , turn back  Or  return

Wether if it is bad , so let me be far of it

If it is bad , Far from

Wether it is good , let me go back to it

If it is

That invite me to go back

invited

Please, my Art-En Friends
Tell me : should I go or should I leave

You should stay and fight and never hesitate, for in fighting, you find your true self.

I apologize if I was a little bit nigative , but I really really liked it and I'm really looking forward to reading more of your writings.
please accept my humble opinion.  

آخر تعديل بواسطة Wissam في السبت شباط 20, 2010 1:46 م، عدل 1 مرة

[Portia]

السلام عليكم :

 
Wissamo

Thanx for your reply , actually your opion spport my humble trail in writing

and because you are a poet this this means i'm lucky for this notes  

In reality, i wrote this topic yesterday , and it is a real plea 4 an answer

I'll change some words according to your notes

Thank you again , and i think i'll keep fighting , keep walking...

[الملاك]

Portia,  
What a quistion and what a pray Portia!

we all found diffeculties in adapting to such a socity right here
but none of us gave up
keep fighting, keep walking, and trust in us and in Alla first
and trust yourself

   
butifull hand writting and sensetive feelings 'but has nothimg to do with verse or poetry'
it's prose with a fine rithm

   

[ثـــائـــر]

 
Portia,  

I'ts  a very nice poem because it is simple and has a big deal of feeling in the same time, for your question, I will tell you that you have to fight and fight and fight and never lose the hope

thanx  

[Portia]

السلام عليكم :

 
الملاك:

and trust in us and in Alla first
and trust yourself

nice words, i hope that, now u r my only group in my life 2 i belong

ثائر

i'm afraid of that desciption that i many time was described with ( fighting windmill )o

Thanx 4 ur replies

[Safwat]

Portia,  
very good my sis ....make your heart stronger because u ar a very good and honest believer ...I hope that many girls will be like you in their rerspect and fear of Allah ....
good luck
Itis very nice ...

now ladies and gentlemen ...take care of the spelling mistakes ...

I don’t know

Are you serious ? or stupid you are ! oh that is ‘Akeed’

wether this place is good or no

u can replace (akeed) with in deed ...cuz this is poetry and not a lyric ...
الملاك,  
I know u hate both me and my correcting ur spelling mistakes , but I cannot ....

to such a  

butifull

 

nothimg to do with verse or poetry'
it's prose with a fine rithm

socity right here

[Portia]

 
Peace Be Upon You :

Safwat :

make your heart stronger because u ar a very good and honest believer

I hope I am so

Itis very nice

Thanx      

Thanx for ur notes

 
...................................................

[فارس]

 
Portia,  
I believe that I'm kind of so late, but I've just notice one thing that I have to notify you about.
I have to mention first you glad I am to see such poem of this kind of thought. My brothers and sisters already put nice comments. So, comment will be only about the following:

My Allah

Please reconsider this phrase and I hope you'll found out my point by yourself.

Keep going, I'm looking forward to see more poems of this orientation.

[Portia]

 
Peace Be Upon You

فارس :

Thank you 4 ur reply
 

" My Allah "  

You may mean if i use

"Allah"

without ' My ' it would be better  

But i meant a stong pray , that is from the depth of Man's heart

Thanx again