The Composition Project During the Exam Season(2009))

Safwat

#00017f

Peace Be upon you all …….

   Because we are in the exam season, I would like to suggest you this project.
We can write here many essays and paragraphs to prepare ourselves to take the composition exams.

   Everyone can write or practice writing process here , and because we have too many student qualified for correcting mistakes like Raghad ,Roula , The Jasmine , Fares, Yamen, Yara , Lina , Zumuruda , Naim , Sheba , me etc… .So let us start this network to write, correct, and generate ideas.

   I invite every first, second, and third student to write whatever he/she wants, and we will be ready to read, correct, or to suggest.

   Pleas do not be shy because here you are free to make mistakes, and we are your colleagues and we are not the doctors who can control your marks.

   We would like to shed the light on three writing styles:

1-    Descriptive (by using the elements of description and use our five senses to describe colors, smells, sounds, and pictures etc….(space orders)

2-    Narrative ( by using time order and making a continuity in the evidences )

3-    Argumentative ( With or against )

LYLA

Peace upon you
I'm very grateful to you if you can help me in That.
This is an exemplar for my composition. I wrote it after I had read the 1st Unit in our book.It's narrative,I think,but Idon't use the time order words.
My Father

My father is my own ideal because he's distinct features in his life.He was only six when his mother died,yet he could continue & got a bachelor of Law,He has become a succsseful judge although he had begun from nothing.
This occupation,as judge,has given himself too much,at the sametime it's taken more from his leisure & even pleasure.He's struggling against corrupt officials who hurt him deeply.
Despite his difficult job,he's a perfect parent.He never goes to a night-out,instead,he sits with us simply to talk&watch TV.He's a merciful&forgiving heart .Many times I was at fault &evertyone got angry& severe with me but my father.He has a heart-to-heart with me & findout what's worrying me .
I really look up to my father,basicly,for his honesty& parenthhood.I know that all fathers may have tenderness for their daughters but not all know how exprss it by a nice way in which my father is brilliant.

Safwat

LYLA,
Most welcome and Allah bless your effort

اقتباس:

exemplar

examplar = نموذجي ( مثال نموذجي )
example = نموذج

اقتباس:

Idon't use the time order words

Please keep in your mind that you cannot write a narrative paragraph without them

اقتباس:

he's

he is
LYLA,
Do not use abbreviations in the formal writing

اقتباس:

distinct features

he is a distinct feature
or
he has distinctive features

اقتباس:

&

اقتباس:

corrupt officials

corrpting = adj

اقتباس:

I was at fault

I made mistakes

اقتباس:

He has a heart-to-heart

not complete

اقتباس:

look up to

regard
consider

اقتباس:

parenthhood

for the two sexes
man

اقتباس:

findout

find out
LYLA,
This is a descriptive paragraph.........write to me more I am ready to help you ...... be careful because this is no a narrative paragraph .......
Let me guess something
write about the steps you do from 9:00a.am to 9:00p.m
write in details and use time orders

Safwat

ANY ONE ELSE ?

Gloria

Hi Lyla, I really like the idea of ur paragraph and that’s why I rewrote it in a good way that u may learn how to express urself better. Some of ur sentences really sound like Arabic and this is an important thing to pay attention to. Such as, “he could continue” (continue what?), “this occupation… has given him too much” (too much of what again?), “his leisure and even pleasure” (why even?), “who hurt him deeply” (what strong and powerful officials!!!), “I was at fault” (u mean كنت على خطأ???) ,and finally “I really look up to my father” (look up!! , like you are downstairs and he is up?? ). You have also to pay attention to ur grammar. Hmmm well, for now, I wish u all the best and here is the paragraph I rewrote……
My Father

My father is ideal and distinct in his life. He was only six years old when his mother died, yet this loss did not prevent him from being ambitious to get high education. He studied law and became a successful lawyer in a short time. After that, he was assigned as a judge and this has made all the difference in his life. After he became a judge, he was always busy spending most of his time either in the court or in his office. Being a straight and devoted judge, my father had to stand many times against those corrupted officials whose only aim is to cheat. My father doesn't have much time to stay with us, so he rarely goes outdoors to spend the evenings with his friends. He rather prefers to stay home to watch TV and chat with us. He is a perfect and merciful father. Whenever I make a mistake, everyone shouts at me except him. He stays calm and inquires more about the matter before he decides what to do with me. He is understanding and wise and this is what made him successful and well-liked. I really appreciate my father not only as a parent but also as a judge.
Many thanks to Safwat also 

Obada Arwany

May Allah bless your efforts dear Safwat. It is really nice work from you to correct the essays or paragraphs. I will participate soon wait for me

Safwat

Gloria,
a genius girl very nice
Obada,
welcome brother

Safwat

Woman's veil

Veil plays an important role in the rest of woman in her daily life. her peace of mind can not be completed without the veil. Veil protects woman and gives her purity and tranquility . woman's veil not only protects her but also protects the young who unfortunately, indulge in many sins and mistakes and live in departure of God's orders.

In our modern time, the veil of the woman has become one of the forbidden things which the freedom voices always call for not to talk about. The doubtful call the one who calls for the woman's veil as an old-fashion person .Alas, it seems that freedom and civilization can not occur unless woman walks in streets as an animal for the sake of letting everyone sees her as naked. Moreover, it is important to notice that God does not order in any religion woman to be undressed ;furthermore, He confirms that woman as a basis of any religion so she should be clean and pure in order to make good the youth at all. Otherwise, it will happen like what is happening nowadays such as having adultery, womanizing , drinking wine and committing suicide.

Because of leaving religion, people of western countries are going astray .woman has become in their view as any object which is used by the many illegitimately and wrongly. These people have become unconscious and have no religion limits.

Woman's veil and keeping her honor are among the most important bases of Islam which noticed the importance of woman's honor in the society which is depend on woman as the best moral builder , and prophet Muhammad peace and blessing of God be upon him had an important motto until his death's moment which says 'women..be careful of them'.

He peace be upon him observed carefully the importance of woman in building good society in life.

All in all, building the society depends on woman's honor ,and it will be corrupted if woman is corrupted , so woman is described as a queen who dominates everything in her kingdom. Therefore, she should be right to her kingdom be always right.

Safwat

اقتباس:

her

Her

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tranquility

peace because tranqility is not abstract

اقتباس:

the young

young man

اقتباس:

who unfortunately, indulge

indulges

اقتباس:

live

lives

اقتباس:

things which the freedom voices always call for not to talk about

Arabic Style
rewriting:
freedom tendencies avoide talking about

اقتباس:

The doubtful call the one who calls

the doubtful call from the....

اقتباس:

old-fashion

fashioned

اقتباس:

sees her as naked

sees her nearly naked

اقتباس:

God does not order in any religion woman

God does nt order woman in any religion

اقتباس:

woman as a basis

is a basis

اقتباس:

make good the youth at all

اقتباس:

is depend

depended

اقتباس:

religion limits

religious

اقتباس:

prophet Muhammad

the prophet -peace be upon him-

اقتباس:

He peace

peacify

اقتباس:

kingdom

realm
Your essay is too nice , but I yhink that the title is not suitable .............
tahnks ...............i LIKE IT VERY MUCH

عصام

"Men to lead, Women to follow"

People are divided into two groups according to discussing the common statement ' men to lead, women to follow ', and each group has its own contentment.
The first group of people thinks that man is the only one who can take the responsibilities of work and taking decisions, and woman has to follow him to achieve whatever he wants because he has the ability to solve her problems better than her.
While the second group thinks that woman is equal to man and she is not forced to follow him. She is able to take her own decisions and has the right to work and educate as she wants without any hesitation.
In the balance of the Islamic law, regardless of reality of the Islamic societies, woman and man are equal. In the Holy Qur'an , Allah addresses both of them with honorable address because of the human values in which they participate .also the Qur'an imposes what the Islamic law calls the natural responsibility undertaken by the man and the woman . Thus it makes the man responsible for looking after the woman and vice versa when it says, the believers, men and women, are awliya of each other, they enjoin what is right and forbid what is evil." 'Al Tawbah '
In my opinion, that statement is right just in one case in which woman may follow her emotions without thinking .She has the ability which makes her able to live and take decisions by herself without man's permitting. That is her legal right if she does not do any thing against law or religion

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The Composition Project During the Exam Season(2009))