LYLA,  
Most welcome and Allah bless your effort

examplar = نموذجي ( مثال نموذجي )
example = نموذج

Please keep in your mind that you cannot write a narrative paragraph without them

he is
LYLA,  
Do not use abbreviations in the formal writing  
he is a distinct feature
or
he has distinctive features

     
corrpting = adj

I made mistakes


not complete

regard
consider

for the two sexes
man
find out
LYLA,  
This is a descriptive  paragraph.........write to me more I am ready to help you ...... be careful because this is no a narrative paragraph .......
Let me guess something
write  about the steps you do from 9:00a.am to 9:00p.m
write in details and use time orders

 
Hi Lyla, I really like the idea of ur paragraph and that’s why I rewrote it in a good way that u may learn how to express urself better. Some of ur sentences really sound like Arabic and this is an important thing to pay attention to. Such as, “he could continue” (continue what?), “this occupation… has given him too much” (too much of what again?), “his leisure and even pleasure” (why even?), “who hurt him deeply” (what strong and powerful officials!!!), “I was at fault” (u mean كنت على خطأ???) ,and finally  “I really look up to my father” (look up!! , like you are downstairs and he is up?? ). You have also to pay attention to ur grammar. Hmmm well, for now, I wish u all the best and here is the paragraph I rewrote……
My Father

My father is ideal and distinct in his life. He was only six years old when his mother died, yet this loss did not prevent him from being ambitious to get high education. He studied law and became a successful lawyer in a short time. After that, he was assigned as a judge and this has made all the difference in his life. After he became a judge, he was always busy spending most of his time either in the court or in his office. Being a straight and devoted judge, my father had to stand many times against those corrupted officials whose only aim is to cheat. My father doesn't have much time to stay with us, so he rarely goes outdoors to spend the evenings with his friends. He rather prefers to stay home to watch TV and chat with us. He is a perfect and merciful father. Whenever I make a mistake, everyone shouts at me except him. He stays calm and inquires more about the matter before he decides what to do with me. He is understanding and wise and this is what made him successful and well-liked. I really appreciate my father not only as a parent but also as a judge.
Many thanks to Safwat also 

 
May Allah bless your efforts dear Safwat. It is really nice work from you to correct the essays or paragraphs. I will participate soon wait for me  

 
Woman's veil

Veil plays an important role in the rest of  woman in her daily life. her peace of mind can not be completed without the veil. Veil protects woman and gives her purity and tranquility . woman's veil not only protects her but also protects the young who unfortunately, indulge in many sins and mistakes and live in departure of God's orders.

In our modern time, the veil of the woman has become one of the forbidden things which the freedom voices always call for not to talk about. The doubtful call the one who calls for the woman's veil as an old-fashion person .Alas, it seems that freedom and civilization can not occur unless woman walks in streets as an animal for the sake of letting everyone sees her as naked. Moreover, it is important to notice that God does not order in any religion woman to be undressed ;furthermore, He confirms that woman as a basis of any religion so she should be clean and pure in order to make good the youth at all. Otherwise, it will happen like what is happening nowadays such as having adultery, womanizing , drinking wine and committing suicide.

Because of leaving religion, people of western countries are going astray .woman has become in their view as any object which is used by the many illegitimately and wrongly. These people have become unconscious and have no religion limits.

Woman's veil and keeping her honor are among the most important bases of Islam which noticed the importance of woman's honor in the society which is depend on woman as the best moral builder , and prophet Muhammad peace and blessing of God be upon him had an important motto until his death's moment which says 'women..be careful of them'.

He peace be upon him observed carefully the importance of woman in building good society in life.

All in all, building the society depends on woman's honor ,and it will be corrupted if woman is corrupted , so woman is described as a queen who dominates everything in her kingdom. Therefore, she should be right to her kingdom be always right.  

 

Quote:

her

Her

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tranquility

peace because tranqility is not abstract

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the young

young man  

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who unfortunately, indulge

indulges

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live

lives

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things which the freedom voices always call for not to talk about

Arabic Style
rewriting:
freedom tendencies avoide talking about  

Quote:

The doubtful call the one who calls

the doubtful call from the....

Quote:

old-fashion

fashioned

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sees her as naked

sees her nearly naked

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God does not order in any religion woman

God does nt order woman in any religion

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woman as a basis

is a basis

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make good the youth at all

       

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is depend

depended

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religion limits

religious

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prophet Muhammad

the prophet -peace be upon him-

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He peace

peacify

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kingdom

realm
Your essay is too nice , but I yhink that the title is not suitable .............
tahnks ...............i LIKE IT VERY MUCH